Bridal boudoir is one of the most common types of boudoir requests I get. There's so many reasons why a beautiful hand crafted book of photos of you makes the best wedding day gift for your bride or groom! It's a commemoration of you during one of the most exciting times in your lives together. Imagine the look on your bride or groom's face when they open their gift and see you looking the most beautiful he/she has ever seen you look before! But it's not just about them... imagine going into your marriage with an extra boost of confidence from seeing yourself as you've never seen before. Imagine falling in love with yourself right before tying the knot. Making the decision to commit yourself to your significant other for life through marriage is easily one of the top highlights in a lot of people's lives.
I’ve had the honor of photographing couple’s celebrating big anniversaries like their 20th or 30th. I used the opportunity to get their advice on how they made it work. Here’s some of their top tips:
Talk about everything.
And I mean everything. All the little things that come up that make you happy, piss you off, make you sad. Don't just talk about the bad, make sure to acknowledge the good that your partner does so they feel validated and know they're doing something right. In turn, they'll do more of that thing that makes you happy! Don't just talk about the good either though. If something comes up for you that leaves you feeling unsettled, talk about it, have those hard conversations. Trust me when I say that if you don't, all the little things build up then end up either exploding or coming out in other ways. The sooner you start talking about what's on your minds, the better. Encourage your partner to do the same and practice having those hard conversations. I personally admit that I'm feeling scared and vulnerable before bringing something up, but that it's important to me. I ask for my partner to be patient with me as I try to express myself, because I may not be able to say it right at first.
Put yourself in your partner's shoes
Did your partner come home in a huff after a bad day? And now they're giving you hell that you don't deserve because you didn't do anything? The easiest thing to do would be to spit fire right back at your partner, but that only makes the situation worse for both of you. Instead, take a step back to assess the situation and ask yourself what could be causing your partner to act this way. Try to imagine how you would feel if you were in your partner's situation, whatever that may be. Give your partner as much compassion as you possibly can. Take some space if you need to before talking to your partner about what's really bothering them. Having compassion doesn't mean becoming your partner's punching bag, however. Stand your ground and let your partner know, in a calm and relaxed tone, that what they are saying or how they are treating you is hurting your feelings. Try to do this without putting the blame on your partner, and always refrain from name calling. "You're being an ass hole" is almost never received well. If you want your partner to truly hear you, choose language that's easy to digest.
What say YOU?
Do you have any key pieces of advice to share? I’d love to hear it! Comment below!
And now, a word from our lovely bride!
What was your biggest fear before the session?
My biggest fear going into this was really all within myself. I had never been "exposed" in that way to anyone before. But as soon as the session began Jen made me feel extremely comfortable and I never really even thought about my self-consciousness throughout the shoot.
What was your favorite part of your Breathless Boudoir experience?
Gosh, I really can't pin point on part of my experience. Every bit of it was more than I could have imagined. The entire day couldn't have gone any better. Jen would get so excited getting shots and made me feel like a rock star! At the end of the day sitting there and going through all of the photos I simply couldn't believe that I had really just done that and that I really looked that awesome!
How would you describe your experience to your best friend?
Exhilarating! I was able to see myself in a new way and love my body! It's something every single woman should experience at least once in her life. I cant wait to do it again!