Exploring Confidenceby Cindy Bischoff
What is Confidence?
In western culture we tend to think of confidence as this attractive quality that everybody wants to have, but only super successful, insanely beautiful people actually embody.
The typical definition of confidence goes something like this definition I found on the personalexcellence.co blog…
”Self-confidence refers to assuredness in your own worth, abilities and power, regardless of the situation you are in. Someone who is self-confident has a strong sense of belief and certainty in himself/herself. He/she exudes calmness, composure and is self-aware.”
Why do we struggle with confidence?
Is it really a surprise why we struggle to stand in our own worth, strength and power, when every signal the media, and our culture, sends us says that we are unworthy? That who and what we are is never enough?
When I Googled “how to be confident” I got back around 129 MILLION hits. That’s 129,000,000!
I found an endless stream of websites and blogs giving advice on everything from how to stand, what to wear, how to measure the grip of your handshake, to how long to hold eye-contact; and many other tips and tricks designed to make it LOOK like you’re confident, even when you’re not.
Especially when you’re not.
With so many voices clamoring to be heard, and so much advice that is manipulative and conniving, it’s no wonder the source of self-confidence feels like a treasure map whose “X” is always in motion, so, by the time you start digging, it’s already moved to another location. An obscure vision you need to lie and deceive, or get somebody’s help to locate, because if you don’t, you can never pin it down, much less embody it.
The elusiveness of confidence’s tangible origins creates a scenario wherein it is easily distorted…for a profit.
Even if you can’t accurately define the source of confidence, you know a confident person when they walk into a room because they exude that elusive quality.
As a culture, we have this romanticized notion that the stereotypical self-assured, super successful, insanely beautiful bastion of confidence is ALWAYS cool, ALWAYS calm, ALWAYS confident, and that is just not true.
Peel back the layers, climb beneath the masks of manipulation and deception, and all of this begs the question, how do we believe in ourselves? How do we authentically exude certainty, calmness and composure when we are anything but?
It all seems so daunting, and overwhelming, but, while developing confidence is not necessarily easy, it is surprisingly simple…
There is nothing contrived about true confidence and it never comes at some else’s expense. It does not matter what you own, what you drive, where you live, nor the size of your butt and thighs!
Confidence, true self-assurance, comes from trusting yourself to handle your life. Period.
When you boil it down, all that means is that, when shit comes up, you handle it with as much grace as you are capable of in that moment. (And let me tell you, shit ALWAYS comes up!)
When you’ve established a track-record of handling stuff well, you trust yourself to handle your life. And when you truly trust yourself, you naturally stand straighter, and like yourself. Does not mean you don’t get scared, or nervous, or anxious.
Cultivating confidence it is not necessarily easy, especially in light of our social and cultural conditioning, but having confidence really is that simple. As trust in yourself is built by consistent action, confidence is cultivated.
As I said, being confident is not easy, but it really is as simple as trusting yourself to handle life’s curveballs.
Cindy Bischoff Bio
Cindy Bischoff’s work centers on fostering and empowering women to accept themselves, to live deeply, and fully embrace life as they are. Not just the good stuff, but all of it! And not at some mythical point in time, like when they’ve lost enough weight to be worthy, but NOW! She is a freelance travel writer, public speaker, blogger, podcaster, and Certified Infinite Possibilities Trainer. Cindy co-hosts the “Go Deeper” podcast, and blogs on her website at www.cindybischoff.com. You can follow Cindy on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter @CindyLousMuse. And be sure to keep an eye out for her upcoming book, “When Forgiveness Isn’t Enough To Set You Free.” Cindy is also the creator of www.congruencehub.com website and “Congruence Hub” podcast, both of which go live on February 1, 2017. When your thoughts, words, and actions align, you find congruence. When you find congruence in your life, magic happens!