I just finished packing the last of my bags, which included stuffing a purple wig, pink leggings and pink and yellow fishnet gloves into it. I'm about to head out the door as soon as I'm done with this post to go to an all women's summer camp. There's a mix of emotions coursing through me right now that are making me a little giddy and light headed. I'm SO excited to get to go canoeing, hiking, sing around a campfire, 80's night, and do morning yoga with a bunch of women. The high ropes course is something I'm nervously looking forward to, I can't wait to test my courage and feel the adrenaline pumping.
But then there's this other thing going through my mind, the part that's left over from grade school. What if I don't fit in? Most of the women going to camp are going with friends, and I'm flying solo. I feel like I'm a bit socially awkward, especially when it comes to meeting new people, especially if these new people already know each other and are in groups. Eek! These is me spilling my vulnerability out into the interwebs right now. I feel so raw and open. Like I'm heading into the lions den of my anxiety. Though, deep down I know the next blog post will be about how wonderfully excepting everyone was, and how many amazing new friends I've made... and yada yada. And that's why I jumped at this opportunity. I knew when I signed up that this was something that was really going to push me, and I want to be pushed in this way. I want to know I can make it through. And I'm doing it by myself. I'm challenging myself, and I feel so alive. Even if that aliveness is coming from anxiety, I'm alive damn it! And in the end I know that I'm definitely not going to regret going. This is going to be awesome. =)
This totally vulnerable and open blog post was brought to you by Brené Brown. I started reading The Gift of Imperfection recently and she was talking about being vulnerable. So here's to a new and exciting chapter!!!
Wish me luck at summer camp! And join me next year so I'm not going solo!!! Click the banner below and sign up to get an email about when tickets go on sale.