Emily's Breathless Kauai Experience

Guest post: Emily joined Kerri and I on our Breathless Kauai Retreat scouting trip.  The following is her experience.

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Beautiful.

Why has that always been an unattainable adjective for me? Beautiful is a descriptor that has always been reserved for a different type woman. A woman who’s put together. Who is seen and not heard- not because she lives up to that old southern mantra, but because she has the type of beauty that will silence a room. She’s the embodiment of grace and elegance that is perfectly balanced with strength and confidence. She’s the type of woman I have always been told I should be and the kind of woman I could be, if I really tried. As a result, most of my life has been spent stuck in a vicious cycle of dieting and disappointment. I’ve been drowning in an endless supply of the latest and greatest beauty products, only coming up for air when someone would acknowledge my efforts. My quest has kept me constantly searching for approval from colleagues, friends, family members, and partners- eagerly waiting for someone to tell me that I’m beautiful, starving to hear someone use that adjective to describe me. Yet, those words never seem to come. I’m still nothing like the image of that beautiful woman I’ve always aspired to be. Instead I’ve had to settle with adjectives like “cute”, “pretty”, “hot”, “sexy”,“fuckable”…but never beautiful…. because it’s impossible for me to be beautiful.I’m just not that kind of woman. I’m more of a mess, with wild hair and coffee stains on my wrinkled shirt. I can silence a room, not with my looks, but because I usually enter a room like a hurricane, tripping over myself every step of the way. I’m the opposite of “put-together”. I’m all over the place. Some days I’m confident, but mostly I’m waiting for the next words of affirmation from someone else to reinforce my fake confidence. That’s not the description of a beautiful woman. Not even close. It is, however, the description of a woman who has mana. Mana that is visible in my photos. That’s why I immediately broke down into tears when I saw Jen’s photos of me- I could see it. I could remember it. I could feel it again. I could believe that it was there and it all finally made sense-I immediately knew why beautiful wasn’t my adjective, why it never will be. It can’t be.

Kauai is a special place. You can feel it as soon as you step off the plane. As a dear friend explained it - the island has a unique energy. Volcanic energy. It has its own power. That’s what mana is- a spiritual force and energy. I even wrote in my journal “the mana on this island is palatable” after he described it. Farther down the same page I also wrote:

"Each time I hear a rooster crow on this island it’s a reminder that I need…that this trip is a transition. I’m calling light into all of the places of darkness I’ve been holding onto. All of the hurt and the pain that’s been inflicted by me (i.e. to myself). All of the self- criticism. All of the things I’ve done…or not done. Said….or not said."

So, what did Kauai do for me? It closed some chapters in my story and opened some new ones. I accepted that I will never be that beautiful woman I imagined while I was there. I stopped berating myself for not becoming her. I accepted that I am a mess and always will be, because I’m not beautiful and I don’t want to be anymore.All it took was a wild island and a talented photographer to immortalize it in a way I that I could finally see it for myself…see that I’m a wild woman who is “the power of the elemental forces of nature embodied in an object or person”.

I’m not a beautiful woman, I’m a woman with mana.

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To read more about our Kauai Adventure or to join us on our boudoir | yoga | meditation | adventure retreat in June 2017, CLICK HERE!  There's still room!

Yoga, Meditation, and Boudoir Retreat - Kauai

(Kerri Kitchens is our yoga & meditation instructor for the Breathless Retreat: Kauai)meditation retreat hawaii

Take a moment to visualize:

Kauai welcomes you with lush, green mountains, vibrant blue waters, countless majestic waterfalls as far as you can see. You begin to notice the calming, harmonious energy of this alluring island as you simply step onto your yoga mat.

You breathe in. You sense the salty ocean air cross your throat, fill your lungs, and nurture your body. You breathe out. You begin to climb out of your insecurities - forgetting the path that brought you here and instead noticing this very moment.Moving through your gentle yoga practice, you notice subtle shifts in your body and your awareness. You begin to drop your insecurities and step into the role of the goddess you already are. You settle into your physical strength and discover other strengths as well - your voice, your relationship with yourself, your positive self-image.

Your body, mind, and spirit begin to unite in a tri-force of strength that begins to radiate from you. You are ready. You've always been ready. NOW is the time to step into your feminine power.

Breathe in. Breathe out. Leave breathless.

Make this visualization your reality by applying for Breathless Retreat: Kauai today by clicking here and filling out the application. Namaste, you beautiful, strong woman, you.

Until we meet in Kauai - Aloha & mahalo

Kerri Kitchens

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For more details about the retreat, check out the blog post here!

To see more boudoir/fine art nude photos from our scouting trip click here.

And you can find Kerri's Facebook page here.

BOUDOIR IN HAWAII!!!

Hello my lovelies!!!

I have some super awesome news that I've been hanging on to for a while now that I've been DYING to share!!!

I’m teaming up with Kerri Kitchens (one of Charlottesville's finest yoga instructors) and we will be doing regular boudoir/yoga/meditation retreats in Kauai, Hawaii!!!  The retreats will be full of body positivity, empowerment and LIVING to the fullest!

(hold on, don’t go anywhere, that’s not all)!

Hawa

We’re planning our first scouting trip June 1-8 and need TWO lovely models to come along to be photographed so that we will have example photos to show.  No modeling experience needed!!!  Applicants must be at least 30 years and up and also in shape enough to do a moderate hike, kayak, and camp.  You don’t have to be a super athlete… I surely am not… just in decent enough shape to hike and motivation to get it done!  =)  Models MUST be available June 1-8 (though we won’t need all of that time to shoot) and be able to purchase flights to Hawaii ($700-$1,000) and accommodations.  You’ll also need to be comfortable with your photos being shared online (Facebook, blog, website) and in print (fliers, books, marketing material, etc).

What you get:

Aside from going on a bad ass vacation in paradise?  You’ll get complimentary photo shoots in dreamy, exotic locations (think black sand beach, waterfalls, rain forests, etc.), professional hair and makeup styling, and the experience to be a model in Hawaii!!!  You’ll also get a meditation and yoga class ON THE BEACH!

To apply:

If you’re interested in rocking out with us in Kauai, please comment on this blog post AND share it (use one of the share links at the bottom) AND send me (Jen) an email with the subject line "Boudoir in Hawaii!" stating WHY you want to model and briefly explain WHO you are as if you’re best friend were describing you to me.  Also include a current photo of yourself.

This model call will only be open for one week!  Send in your emails by March 18 at midnight.  Two lucky ladies will be announced on Monday, March 21.  Be sure to set a reminder to come back and check the blog!

Subscribe to my blog to get updates and details on Hawaii retreats!

Send to: Jen at breathlessboudoir@gmail.com

Mahalo, ladies!!!

Jen (& Kerri)